It’s something I should have learned long ago, but while walking today, I realized I could walk “tall” and look up at the sky, horizon, clouds, and others. Although I have learned the relative value of posing and striding, too often I have not done so publicly. Performance in part demands a shared stage with other actors, not just a personal one-person show that never sees the light of day. I’ve realized I have too often thought that way—that’s a product of avoiding unwanted attention, social anxiety, being bullied, paranoia over my gait, and just low self-esteem.
That deranged notion of not impinging/bothering others is also a part of it, but fuck ___ and ____. (And ______. Always fuck over that guy.) I’ve been performing on a private stage, and from a magical, glamour, aladir, and Arendtian perspectives, that’s counterproductive. It’s too much living in my head (and TV/video games), as well.
Of course, don’t be a creeper, but don’t hide. You have always been weird to people: tall, long hair, smart, awkward by turns, over-educated, introverted, witty, angry, and more. Go fig there were attempts to quash that: you make many people uncomfortable, but—. They deserve neither sympathy nor quarter, for they have offered you none.
So walk and see the sky; stride through the world with people, not avoiding them. Do not—and stop—trying to make yourself small. Rise and be tall, as _______________ once told you.
Otherwise, glamour and magic require, benefit, from drawing others into the world, the experience, you create. The immersive ontological existence of the performance and the magic reality you create. Willing subjects are always best, after all. Liminality has its purposes, signaling & reinforcing & initiating such magical realities. Use them.
(The confidence thing, the tall thing, this is in part Angus and Mabon.)
But the magic of the world is Far More Apparent and Present when you look at the sky, clouds, trees, and more and not just the sidewalk, your legs and feet.
To dream, to be lost in a dream—that is not confidence, not being tall.
Eccoituvan ? against maya
Ôl-mûl – dream slave
Mûl-ôl – slave dream ? maya
Awarthon halthaya a mûl-ôl.
I forsake halthaya and mûl-ôl.