Reread Carroll—what you’re calling “Chaos” are the Aethyric Realms he speaks of.
Index your magic journals!
I connect and revive far more easily to outdoor forces and spirits and gods, but I need to do so with the urban—my sidhe sensibilities, when ‘___ and ___ had been touching the urban for ages.
Remember the Center
–So many things forgotten but fermenting, bubbling under the surface of my mind.
Poverty is a demon god that the rich feed and propitiate, sacrifice the poor to so it reproduces itself within the minds and souls.
And fucking index with tabs—the ones ___ gave you.
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What Carroll calls Aethyric Realms is what I’ve been calling “Chaos”—what I’ve found can lead to CHAOS, but it’s the shores, not the depths. What strikes me is that I first read about Carroll’s Aethyric Realms over a year ago, forgot about it during the summer and fall of suck, that Dark Time of the Soul, only for it to start seemingly from Athene of all beings—though I had my vision of the “root” and my Wyrd during exercise, but that may have reflected my readiness for Athene to show me that place.
I’m not sure what to call it, though. I’ve been calling it “Chaos,” but, while kinda technically true, isn’t accurate. The Shores—or ri’il-tsen—the Shores of Chaos, I suppose. But ri’il-tsen is probably more accurate. I guess it says something in that regard that I’ve managed this and bounced back from (well, woke up again) as well as I have.
From a Carrollian chaos magic perspective, I have a tendency to latch onto & seek beliefs (see his ideas on belief and correlate that with aesthetics and Adorno’s notion of aesthetic truth). The immersiveness is one thing that links art and magic, but I cling to immersiveness and belief too tightly, am too dogmatic, partly falling into maya and halthaya and doctrine.
Carroll speaks of other magical selves, self as colonial, amalgam, accreted selfness. Magical selves and godforms/godheads are those we associate as capable and best at actualizing different kinds of magic.
- Octarine (magic)—Odin, _________, __
- Black (death, entropy)—Anpu for knowledge of death, psychopompery; _____ for destruction and entropy?
- Blue (wealth)—Authun, _-_____?
- Red (anger/war, vitality, aggressiveness, morale, personal glamour of vitality)—_-_____ as Glorfindel and urban elf commando
- Yellow (ego, charisma, laughter-creative, assertion/dominance)—Mabon, _____, Angus
- Green (social, self-love, friends)—not sure, _-_____?
- Orange (trickery, cunning, witty-self, quick wit, charlatanry)—Doctor 10, SS, Loki, Odin
- Purple (sex)—Angus ? FitE
Those are Carroll’s divisions—thematic and purposeful, not spheres of influences, like Life, Death, Forces.
Possessory/trance work is “invocation”—you in-voke the appropriate being/godhead/self who then spells some other work—e.g., you get “Odin” who does what your ordinary self cannot do.
Carroll suggests easy costume and prop changes to help switch or to assume different selves.
I need to practice these selves—si’rentey—assuming & working through them. Some I have little clue about—okay, yeah,–and several have demons attached to them. My anger demon needs to be dealt with.