I haven’t really looked for Ellethis at night and outside: it’s dark, go fig, but still there. Different. In the sunlight, it does what trees do. In darkness, well, it has a different presence, but all trees do.
As I sat and meditated outside, feeling and smelling the night air, I became aware that Dana was there again, has always been there, calling to me. And ______’s right: [r-Elethis] is a calling, both me to Ellethis and Saiyûnor, but also the other way around. I’ve been torn, between my obligations here and my desires there, for there. I feel more than hear Dana calling, Away, come away, and I found myself wanting to venture off into the night, first out to the curb where she was in my vision, and then wherever she led me in the night. Destination was less important immediately than getting me out and about, in the night among the trees and the dark. Just moving, ever onward, in the night, and I don’t know if I would ever stop, ever find the destination, and I’m not sure that’s not the point: a life out there, in Saiyûnor and its environs as they touch here. Randir-ing—
And I wanted to, but I was afraid to do it—and I know she’d been calling me forever, since the early days. She’s always been whispering, nudging, drawing…but I resist; but now I know, and I want to follow, to wander, but how far? And for how long? How? Am I pixyled or is this a Seeking? I’m not sure.
I feel weird and the night reminds me of those where ____ & I would wander when we lived at _________________. But she’s been calling me for ages and years…
[WTAW] night Saiyûnor
[WTAW] more a day WTAW