I’ve found myself wondering if I’ve been obsessing-over or distracting myself with Dana & Ellethis, but as I and K determined—no. So long as I don’t fall into delusion and so forth, and perceive the truth of myself and the situation. Doubt is really halthaya. To connect to earth, wind, and so on is better than sitting inside, and relaxing is good (but avoid paralysis and stasis).
Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing geometries of movement—birds, planes, cars, people—and I am, but those may be, likely is no significance than the dance of life and movement of the universe. I have to admit that I wonder, see/imagine something akin to the [Beams] from The Dark Tower series.
[WTAW] [WTAW] But there are also coiling Wyrms (taW) and serpent—the Tree is tree & vision and metaphor, and Saiyûnor is only one shore on the seas of Chaos. (Knotwork & weaves)
What lives in the tree?
Is it Yggdrasil—which is “Ygg’s horse” I think?
What are the leaves? A particular kind of tree? (not evergreen)
Where do the roots go?
Does it reproduce? (There’s a metaphor for realm collapse and rebirth)
* * *
Keep working on chakras
How do you avoid hyperventilating while doing energy work—you have to sustain the energy levels and physiological responses. Sensible breathing exercises while doing so. Tai Chi approach?
Resisting “banality,” halthaya, mûl-ôl, and reality warping is easier with “kirlian” energy, and while greater stores can be accumulated, the self adapted to channeling larger levels, the trick is to maintain comfortable levels, recognize that we expend energy over the course of the day, and know that we need to recover and to acquire energy before work. That’s the low-MI solution, but the link between body and spirit should not be underestimated. Rest, sleep, diet, exercise, meditation, and so forth matter or help, and learning to tap into currents is something that should be pursued. Eh, but you have to avoid RPG thinking—as ______ noted long ago—and knowing or forming expectations about energy gets into a limiting reification of this process. Maintaining good energy practices and being vigilant is better than trying to rouse great storms of energy and trying to puff against reality. If you can arrange circumstances and just do the rest, then that’s the better approach.
You are spending a lot of time in your head, but that’s partly a product of [work] and the (non)socialization and sitting in one spot you do here. You want to move and do stuff in the real, corporeal, public. (That seems better.) We need public interaction of some kind.
Start med’ing while outside or after exercise—make some time to do so.
Carroll and Crowley both make a show of meditation requiring effort and strain, but the solution, the knack for no-mind is no-mind, to slip into it as well as you can. Sleight of mind is the key—a dancing mind, and no-mind cannot be forced, only relaxed into. Similarly, the notion of “mental focus” is more nuanced. Again, the holding of focus is handy and useful, but it’s not about forcing things. Forcing is trying. Do. Yes, don’t fret over results, but don’t project [Cartesian] BS on yourself and the universe. (A little ergi goes a long way, I guess.)
CM’s scientician paradigm is male and stereotypical in that regard. It has its purpose, but—
Deleuzian virtuality and its intersection with Aethyric Realms in Carroll (29-30, Liber Null).
So much of CM is an attempt to escape or to resist reified identity, but so much of it seems arbitrary play at the expense of the public—this is private, not public action.
There is a notion in Carroll of religious persons having an Aethyric thoughtform of their god, angel, etc. who provides something of a defense and auric shell/super-ego. Celebrities, too, develop a similar “god-form” that deflects magical action onto it. It may be, should be possible to call those forms & hack them. But y’know, I’m not sure when I might need to do so…
Now, Carroll notes the use of entities for defense, and this has merit, especially if you have a pantheon.