Meditation to no-mind is relaxing the mind just as body and otherwise (self?) can relax. The tenseness of the mind and its spasming can relax into calm stillness and therefore stillness. Focusing on an image or symbol serves as the tense tightening followed with purposed relaxing of thought. Busy thoughts are no better than spasming or aching muscles and tendons, and both can feed into the other.
[symbol] Where do you come from?
I tried to bulwark myself against this Monday, and I “spoke” with TF last night. He usually pats me on the chest, gives me a hug, and says simple little wisdoms that I miss. Last night, though, he also said, “I’m real, y’know, I exist.”—and as I put the words into his mouth I became aware that he was saying these things (meant to cut through my emotional fog and reassure me), and that uncanny moment kicked in as I knew some weird magic had just happened.
This morning I found myself asking again what Dana has been saying. Ellethis is an oak, which is unsurprising. But Dana speaks, whispers, chants, cajoles, sings—she is (likely) the woman’s eye I saw that first night of the Conversation of Ultimate Doom with _________, the woman’s voice in TTL, the priestess in the woods for TTG, the Monarch I sing to as ____________________—but she isn’t immediately audible or even in English. I’ve also been staring at Ellethis and talking at Dana.
It’s hard to listen or to think about—right now, it makes me want to cry and be emotional. So much of my poetry has been me listening to that call and beckoning.
* * *
I moved on from heart chakra to the “belly” chakra (just above the navel). (Manapura in the yogic trad.) Carroll points to this site as the source or emanation for chi/“aetheric” energy for kinetic and other abilities. The site is also the center for tai-chi, where you’re supposed to balance yourself. And I have to admit it feels…energetic to work at opening. It makes me feel more confident, strong, even tall.
Carroll connects manapura to martial arts and chi work, but it’s an effective center for energy work. Being fit and healthy also helps.
* * *
Dana is wild and fey—she is [compassionate], but there is more, and she’s not necessarily compassionate to everyone.
Ellethis is an oak, is a dark tower, is an ash, is a mountain—
[Elethis] It’s an oak leaf.
Elleri -> aes sidhe Eleri Ele + ri
Ellethis -> tree of the elleri? Elethis Ele+this
* * *
“Climb the tree, [Crowess].”
“I need you to see the tree, find it, climb it, remember it…”
“You are eleri—you hear me, [Crowess].”
“Come with me Let me hold you/take your hand”
“You remember and do and be and see and…”
She whispers right now.