It was a rough morning. This left me tense most of the morning. Energy work needs a relaxed/free state—otherwise, you’re clenched in more ways and places than you think.
Well, wait—you can clench about other things re: magic—but that soul-blocking halthaya is a different kind of knot. I want to say I hate it, but that just gives it more power, augments dread and halthaya.
I also tried/started to work with the root today, and it feels like it’ll take more work, which is unsurprising, I guess. It’s also—my legs are down there but it’s like they matter far less in my sense of self—the “body of light”—compared to my torso and arms. The elthil seems different, but I may be blocked and clenching. Standing and working root is harder and not responding like the chakras above.
Well, part of the difficulty is that I’m fretting over my hangups [about various things]. One of the things I’ve learned is that you have to intersect mind, body, spirit—they all interconnect in an organic unity.
Also, laughter does help. At yourself and more.
Halthaya in this time and place relies on reified, commodified identity—your legal identity to the governmentalities of the day (which includes corps now). Halthaya tries to make you worry about governmental paters while devaluing yourself and binding you to that identity.
I noted tingling up alongside the muscles around the spine in the lower back as AL worked on his poetry of power & liminality.
There’s also too much unrelaxed channeling—trying to force it—which doesn’t work. Relax into it. Or alter your mindset.
Biopower these days—disciplinary biopower also involves constraining one’s body in some way. It’s a bit Harrison Bergeron, but after convincing him to do so for “fairness” & “civility.” Even fitness in many ways serves as a distraction, especially in the ways fitness often manifests as obsession for some, but also lack of healthcare. In many cases, it’s not individuals choosing to inflict those forms of halthaya: it’s the culture and thought-gods and egregores that do so, seeking to reproduce themselves in the souls and minds of persons caught within. When you resist, the threads they have in you can pull, and you’re punished/disciplined in an attempt to rein you into the fold.
There is a sense of underlying reality that is a sort of dream/astral locale, a version of the world’s psychic or spiritual reality. It’s distinct from Saiyûnor, I think. (They do touch.) It’s like Koranith. Maybe. I may be mistaking my own dreaming or my sense of my impressions with reality. It’s much like AC’s notion of “magical” and “astral” planes in Book 4 (MiT&P).
I realized that I recognize someone like myself in ______—probably ______ and something of the dragon. He even reminds me of myself physically (or younger _______, but that “him” is still there.) (Of course, there’s also the comparison to ______/’___.)
I find it easy to channel wind as elthil. Hmm. Elthil has many variations—
–hell, spelling for chakra or energy expertise and lore may be a good idea.
The sky is another realm as well, and a powerful and magical one. (Go fig—sky-gods.)