[Elethis] has become very important to me as a way to reclaim myself from halthaya, and as a way to see and even to relax. Halthaya and mûl-ôl emphasize the subjection of self, will, and identity to the social concrete identities they want, and they work in part by drawing you to forget who you are, can be, want to be (or at least how you want to act).
Humanity is not human. Individual persons are, or can be, human.
Last night, Dana continues her calls to me, to empty my heart of its mortal dream and to come with her. And I do still want to come with her.
The “Dreams”—Koranith and probably Saiyûnor—seem very possessive, very assimilative. I see how that’s the case with Koranith easily—I can see how it can be that with Saiyûnor, as well—the difference being I want to go to Saiyûnor. It feels glorious. (And I really like glorious lately.)
In a sense, Dana’s seemed very supportive and helpful—but I am ______ and she is Dana.
At night, she seems wilder, more sexually charged, more mischievous. A bit more spiteful and “Unseelie.” She wanders the woods in the dark wind. During the day, she dances and strolls in the sunlit plains, laughing and smiling. As storms and clouds approach, she sits and grows contemplative. She grins and nods, speaks to me and the storm.
She calls my name and tells me she is there—and so am I. My presence, my awareness of that presence, that shared presence, is important. My identity and the fact that I am there is important.
(Dancing. Do more dancing.)
Sometimes, in my mind, she seems too much like stereotypical female posing (male gaze stuff) [well, that someone in a gown/robe can do]—but that may be perception filter. It throws me off at times, though, but that might also be my local inexperience.
That said, it occurred to me that there’s another aspect or even demon I need to address, and it’s one that involves my sexuality and hang-ups in that regard.
It wants to be ____________. It wants to dress as urban elf commando and be a physical badass and be confident and smooth
Fae who get caught in Koranith have a difficult time keeping their heads clear, and there’re kinds of negotiation that should be possible—appeasing or negotiating with certain powers. However, I don’t know the magical landscape—and I kind of sense I should use a shadow name in such dealings. The egregores of [uni] & [uni] may be options—sympathy and more may be helpful there.
Though, that’s probably what the __ were involved in—“policing” the wilds of Koranith and what happens to people there. The ____/__ probably affords a bastion for members (not invulnerable, of course).
The other option is the creation of your own bastion (for some reason, all those “astral temple” fx from WOD2 come to mind), but that’s easiest and most efficient with a community of some kind. The __ runs like a police organization/precinct, and it takes advantage of police tropes and their prestige/authority in the culture. Being a _____ may afford opportunities at the unis, for appealing to national and similarly broad memberships aren’t likely to afford much protection or cloaking.
Part of me finds it doubtful that things—magic—is as simple as strong enough visualization and action in Saiyûnor (but fashioning a door that exists in Saiyûnor and bridges to a point in Haisuith—really? Building a rath?)
Arguably, it’s almost like you have to have an existence in the Dream to do anything there. Awaken/lucid and have the energy and presence. (Otherwise, you may only be a phantom, be unseen, or a drone–) Dana called, hoping for those moments of awareness on my part, to “call me” to wake up and start to appear in Haisuith and Saiyûnor again. Elethis became a beacon—but with Dana and Elethis, they’re bastions in Haisuith and Saiyûnor.
So—y’know, AC’s kind of right, if a bit simplistic.
Investing/imbuing sites and items—give them presences in Haisuith and Saiyûnor (and maybe Koranith). You should build/fashion a retinue—a valet/Jeeves/fix it fellow chimera. Guardians may be also be handy.
Energy work may be more helpful for maintaining one’s presence and ability to interact with those Dreams—for developing and sustaining AC’s “body of light.” (Most magical practices work along this path, but it requires getting beyond the initial layers of work, and too many practices focus on either the “Great Work” or go internal, while most others go wholly devotional.) Most practices can’t help but encourage an internal paradigm that bubbles the practitioner.
Poetry and art can reach into the Dream or draw down the Dream into the Real, and alamûri plays with that connection. (Well, all magic tries to do so.) Also plenty of delusion—
I have thought that, in the past, that we are always dreaming on some level, and that is likely the case. But as I look now, I think I (and perhaps all of us) are moving in Koranith and/or Saiyûnor. We are unaware, and becoming aware of that other life may be a key—especially is I can reconcile both and more. (It always seems darker in Koranith, but maybe the weather of the day and approaching sunset filter my sense of the present.) It’s like a dream I can look into, and I have this notion/sense that I could possess, look into my presence there (and into Saiyûnor).
Athene is a sky Olympian and moves on the winds, descending to the world as she wants. Odin, too, moves in the airs but also wherever he desires. Dana is closer to the Green, the land and waters, but the winds and sun also are of her nature.
I shared my olives with Athene in thanks today and had this revelation.
The bridge between the Dreams and Haisuith are still a question, and there’s—
Build a solid bastion in Saiyûnor and Koranith, and begin assembling your chimerical retinue.
How do the WtaW work in the Dreams? They are dragons, experiences, living forces already—duh. In the Dreams, they are all the more immediate.
Elethis is your landmark into Saiyûnor, as is Dana. You are already very much in Koranith.
Alamûri thrives in the Dreams—