Halthaya and Mûl-Ôl are in many ways demonic forces—forms of obsession induced into a population, and their presence helps hide and cloak demonic agency and corruption from scrutiny. Demons relish blind populations that willingly submit themselves to soul-loss. Mind you, the thought-gods and egregores often wind up demonic themselves.
Demons are obsessive beings that seek to reproduce their obsessions and natures in others and in their environments. Demons can easily pass as angels because angels are just as obsessive and viral as demons in their own ways—the differences are typically just the nature of the obsessions. Celestial Hosts typically become obsessive agents of Law—Will of Heaven/Master—but demons are honestly as variable, though their obsessions can be chaos-driven. The fae are also cousins, in a round-about manner; we’re all tangles of existential, experiential elthil, but we’re less immediately monolithically acquisitive.
Dragons are more elemental and focus on their experiential reality and the coils of elthil that can connect worlds, I suppose.
Halthaya and mûl-ôl have tried to reassert themselves as I dreamt about [work]—that’s just job and money stress and jealousy. I wonder—does my faerie soul/kernel (need a better term than kernel) try to hide, or is the accretion of ego wanting to obscure and hide that kernel, to hide M from me? (Yes, to degrees, to be both.)
The trick to Kundalini is to imagine it snaking up along your spine and body, into manapura, heart, etc. Look inside and see it doing so, and I find my breathing picked up, as well.
Halthaya and Mûl-Ôl are corrosive and erode against the Presence/BoL. The point of energy work becomes a means of hedging halthaya and protecting your sense of self and of honing a Presence and Bridging into the Dream. A bit of energy work before bed may be helpful, if you aren’t exhausted and just pass out.
It’s a pressure and force—it hits you, and I’ve never thought to look for it. It could be a thing out of Koranith or the realm, or—if they are that corrosive, M needs—or greatly benefits from—the shells around “her”/”us”/”him” (it’s not quite heteronormative). Form a bridge, [Crowess]—contact, communicate. You want harmony, and a meld/fusion will work better in this realm (and would allow you to work and to thrive in others).
Energy work and development of the Presence—reification, concretization, an imposition of external reality and concrete identity—in part, the viral reproductive egregoric shit and reality overlay.
The roots of Elethis can be drawn—their resonance and elthil are closer to what you want, and Saiyûnor/Haisuith.
Hine’s Permutations is the collection of writings that humanize his CM—and moves away from the “just psychology” angle. He acknowledges the reality of magic, the weird shit, the attacks—social magic and publicity seem to attract intentioned attacks and less overtly magical “attacks”—the ire of others (disgruntled students, colleagues, institutional BS, etc.). Subtlety and a low profile have their merits. He also acknowledges the reality, distinctness, and potential power of gods and others.
* * *
Today feels weird. Distracted and odd. Things moving in my mind. And my chair seems lower than normal.
FitE looks like, reminds me of M (& vice versa)—I wonder if they are the same? I don’t think so—faces of the other—
[Automatic writing conversation with M occurs here]
Dana came and lay a hand on my shoulder and head—pushing, consoling, loving, willing whatever change we want forward.
I can imagine more Kundalini, thicker, more? Must test validity, though.
I feel still weird, more integrated than earlier. Things are still shifting, but less immediately off-balance. I feel more present, as well…
I had a strange pang of anxiety earlier after I got home—like I forgot something—but also like an attack of halthaya.
Energy work and Elethis—