Elethis, Call, Silence

It’s rainy today. I’m having a hard time unwinding at home, med’n before bed, and I feel I’m resisting it before bed. It’s actually easier in the morning, though wondering about work today had me feeling distracted.

I think, feel, I should address Elethis more often than I do—that Elethis’s presence represents something more immediate about the Otherworlds than just “World Tree”—Elethis actively spreads roots and branches; Elethis grows, lives, breathes. K notes that in many ways, sensing the interconnectedness of this realm is easy enough. Sensing how this realm connects to the rest of the Worlds is harder, harder to see how words, ideas, notions, dreams carry—the notions of one realm carry and become actualities elsewhere.

It’s me forgetting, ignoring the kinesthetic when I’m trying to med, and that’s actually important for Presence and silence. Hell, that’s why elthil cycling has been off for me—I got tight & tense and forget kinesthesis—you may want to do a wee bit of yoga in the morning to bring kinesthetic to the fore. Breathing, as well.

I see Elethis’s trunk most often, sometimes the roots extending out of the earth, or the suggestion of the lower lying branches. But when I cast my aura up & down, I can see the canopy & branches, the roots in the earth.

The Otherworlds I find fullest and more accessible through Silence and something like seidr, likely why Odin pointed me that way long ago—now all this is distinct from the folkloric ways into the Otherworlds—

There is no difference in physicality, [Crowess]—all things are already there—but it’s still there—asking for physical things from the Otherworlds—to them, there’s still the Veil, but metaphor is matter—well, no, we have perspective issues—I’ve found K bloodied, bodies can be left—it’s not ephemeral or ethereal, but it’s not necessarily the same as here.

It’s more a matter of Bridging, aligning yourself and the Otherworlds so that you’re coterminous, united bodies and Presence, and the Veil—well, I suppose you could “step sideways” or create a thinning or change yourself more fully to the Presence, or do whatever else you desire that the Bridge allows—and—

Med/Silence on with Elethis & [Elethis]—I can hear Elethis call faintly—lying at the roots, the branches in the rain [Elethis] It reminds me of the Morrigan’s call, and it—might be the same, the whispering call of Her and the trees and Elethis—it’s experiential, like the dragon speech—trance and fire in the head, and I really should not try to pay close attention at work—

—it buffets against me like wind and rain and waves, the spray threatening.

It threatens to wear you down like a song you always can’t quite hear, maybe get confused it or part of you thinks it’s demonic and bad otherworldly—I recall dreams about the noise on TV, and those who heard it “would die,” and I heard it but didn’t die. I’ve had that often—strange things & sounds outside, caught in passing on the TV in mediation—my dream personae mediating it through the TV as a link to the outside. But it’s like wind & waves wearing you down, softening you until you feel like them—softening—and you feel that giddy, excited mania that verges on the uncanny—but you almost recognize it like the sound of home and what you want to let inside you but are scared to let inside because it will change you empower release free change you—that’s what She and Elethis & the Otherworlds whisper & sough & murmur.

I thought I heard Elethis whisper my name earlier, but I only heard it as [Crowess], I think, but I heard [Crowess] long ago when I asked myself and listened.

It’s almost maddening—it’s almost liberating. Ego tries to distract me from it, points me at something else, to keep me from Listening or from being Silent enough to soften and to immerse and change. I want to listen. It is my will to listen, to let the Otherworlds into me—I want to understand, to find words.

I rest here, as my Presence, the Morrigan whispering to me, a shoot of Elethis penetrating me, the wind and soughing coming into me—it’s like someone’s trying to make love to me but I’m having a hard time relaxing so I can “get it”—the roots spreading through me, through my veins my mind my bodies

I think of the ecstasies of female saints and divine lovers—I think of it as trying to cross ZAX and the Abyss into the egoless—

I resist, I grow too hard

—I want it quick too quick—this is transformation and change and softening and listening & love and connection

What I want takes time and transformation—I grow impatient, try to take it all at once, and that closes me off. Soften, [Crowess]—Silence and Presence.

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