I’ve thought about that thread and light off and on today, and I find myself thinking about contrasts. I can see Elethis more easily with clouds in the sky, but less so with clear or cloudy skies. Immersing myself in the light makes the scene somewhat visible rather than just white light.
I hate forgetting things, and I—it is my will to notice, to see, to ken (ken shall be my new synonym for the gaze), to be aware and lucid. But if I grasp too bluntly after the thread, I feel I would only grow frustrated. Stillness, soften, glide into awareness. Breath and vision.
I’m looking again at Thorn’s book [Kissing the Limitless], and I came quickly to her water cleansing. Some of her rites are good, if curious, but the suggestive nature of intention is what I notice. “Clap three times to get the attention of the God Soul.” And this works for me, even when I just snap my fingers three times. I think I will try her glass of water cleansing rite to try to to unbind things. I wonder, for example, where my confidence hides, or where I hide it or lose it, and relaxedness. Or, perhaps, I will pour my anxiousness into a cup of water and reclaim that energy.
While I agree with Dunn that the energy paradigm is flawed and often unhelpful, I think energy plays a strong role in what we do. I still invest too much energy into certain processes inside, and nervousness remains a big one I want to abandon. (This curiously syncs with dJ and CC’s view of the energy of a shaman, but I think the self-importance angle may show a bias and period bias for CC.)
It’s right there—it’s right there—like I’m already partly in the Otherworlds, like I can see, am doing something, but it’s just beyond normal consciousness. But it’s there, when I’m still and silent—
—of course, then I write and think about it.
But there’s a thread of union, wholeness,—I am C-L L-C, and I always have been, and I am and will be and am trying to find that integration.
I want to feel that integration when working […], but I feel unsure how. Spell for it. Do those defixiones you keep forgetting tonight.
Will and desire your way towards action, and as you act, your action will move towards your desire.