The rite last night focused on relaxing and unwinding after spending the night doing things that were more annoying than I should have done on a Friday night. Med’n took a bit to move towards what I wanted. I half-trancedly found and went through the door, but I spent a fair amount of time lying on the shores, wet in the water, and I finally had to—I found myself starting at the Morrigan’s touch on my back. I had a scene where I again reminded myself I wanted this, embraced transformation and the Otherworlds.
Finally, I rose and called T, and we went to the spring from before where I dipped into the waters and drunk, and it’s like I’d been dying of thirst, only to revive somewhat. I headed on to Ae’s estate. We kissed, and she welcomed me. I felt the desire to move [to more comfortable trance position], so I was taken to her chambers, and I broke the trance and shifted and resumed, making my way back through the door to the ___ and to Ae. The chambers, we sat on her bed and chatted—I had a couple of glasses of wine and a pear, and while I felt less ravenous—sleep was coming up me, so she bid me [goodbye]—watched me return, but she did again say she would try to give me a visitation.
I dreamt of confusing things—break-in to the house I was in, noises of movement upstairs, and a note saying, yes, someone had broke[n] in. But I didn’t go upstairs—
I dreamt of lava flows under walkways—. Confusing mashes of gaming and conflict.
I had two realizations while exercising. Firstly, the blue rainbow faentaur is the Feri electric blue flame. (Octarine, perhaps.) Secondly, I strive to connect to the SG in my own way, to become goddess—to connect to my goddess, faerie self as a part of the SG—from the Divine Twins to the Peacock. But I am a part of the SG and _____, but so is everything, but our awareness and attention is shattered and rent. But I seek to bridge to myself—C—as she is a goddess and faerie herself, and we are a daughter—