Towards Fire in the Earth

It has been a rough last several days—anxiety mixed with insomnia stemming from muscle issues. Dreaming has been limited.

Fear, self-loathing, despair, nihilism, anger & hatred draw me and my mind and soul to imagine all possible bad realities. And they pull me down from whatever height I might aspire to. I must identify and exorcise these thoughtforms—at least constrain them. (more…)

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Black Mother & Heaven Shiner

[WTAW]->I am ultimately a root system of memory, the interconnectedness of memory and experience. I am a nest of conflicting passions from memories, touched by millions of persons and events. I also am my choices and how they affect the lives and deaths of those around me. And vice-versa. Responsibility blame, causation.

Passion requires rootedness and connection to others. The world and we are stones and the roots that penetrate those stones.

But memory—and how others have shaped and molded me. Self is always partly a function (process from outside) (That might explain the trance/possessory aspect.) (more…)

Water Maker & Black Mother

Part of the lesson of [WTAW] and [WTAW] is gendered in nature—learning to be aware of those aspects of myself. But the point I think I have been missing re: [WTAW] is that I cannot dominate or control my wholeness, the waters within. They will escape the vessel, must escape the vessel—the water in the vessel must go somewhere. But I try to keep it all contained, out of sight, tears and all. Emotions and all. I can’t—shouldn’t—do that. I deny vast depths of myself in trying. I try to shout it down, talk it away, or focus the flame on a tiny spot, but I end up missing the quiet parts and aspects and currents. (more…)

Guardians Continued

[WTAW]Expansive of mind, self, perception, conception—consciousness, spirit, —seeing a larger world/universe

[WTAW]See Thorn’s idea of walking and fire. ShF and this wyrm are about walking in truth, especially against self-deception. This is the personal truth he represents. But he is far more the Vision Unclouded—

[WTAW] is Vision Expansive and Free and Open, but [WTAW] is about seeing clearly.

_______ pointed out that [WTAW] and [WTAW] remind him of cave painting and mandala motifs. [WTAW] also evokes the sign and shape of a lamp. And that is what the rune calls—that we must be lamps of truth, casting light and clarity into the world and most importantly ourselves. We must shine light into our darkness and confront what we find. We may not know what we see, but we must be truthful with what we do find. (more…)

The Wyrms that Are Wise & Experientiality

G. told me of the language of dragons—they are the wyrms that are wise—their language is experience, are experiences. Not words, per se. Runes/sigils point to experiences after a fashion—realities. Not even narratives at the base, but that’s there. It’s hard to “hear” him when he talks like that, in the wyrm tongue.

It is akin to feeling a rumble in the mind, of someone whispering just beyond your range. To help “hear” better, I am to meditate upon runes/wyrms that are wise->the forms on the previous page are what the Four offer me in this regard. The FUTHARK could also work, but G. felt they aren’t as effective for this purpose.

The lesson of the shadows is prep. (more…)

The Goddess & Feri Guardians

The secret I have been pursuing—the Goddess—she is not in the light, not in the statue, not even in the shadow, but the shadow is the path/portal to her, through the moving mind—the symbol points to the reality, or helps fashion it. The T.S. lies beyond the Shadow. Representation lies towards realness, or at least lends it form, substance, vis. (more…)