I went to the glade, but I was tired and sore. I sat with K for a time. The sky was darker than normal, and Elethis shadowed the sky.
It is a mild morning, and I made the mistake of checking email and am now thinking about work to some degree. I did, though, recover and remember some of the more memorable dreams about [now gone pet cat] from last night.
One thing I have also wanted to do is to continue the simple acts of power and enchantment, spelling and magic. It’s easy to forget them, to overlook them in the hustle. Relaxation also is something to work on—my shoulder has been bothering me, so I should do something about the pain and work to relax it and unclench.
There are rushing, anxious traps I want to avoid, and I will want to recover and reclaim myself as this career progresses.
I want to do a lot of my work outside, in sight of trees and sky, and to feel breeze and hear soughing. Soughing is like being called at by old friends. When I go outside, and when I allow myself to relax, I feel calmer, freer, relaxed, confident, and—my self and powerful and magical.
My shoulder and my jaw have shown I still clench, and I want to make a stronger effort to relax and collect myself. ______ apologizes, and I try to reassure him that we haven’t made a great enough effort to relax. I want to go out at night, as well, when I have the time to chill. I should work up a defixio (for what) and some cards for Authun.
Dunn has noted that the magical motto, which served as shadow names for the GD, should reflect traits you desire for yourself, not traits you possess. I think Sindarin would be an interesting choice for myself, and apt. Something about relaxed confidence is what I’ve always been on about.
Ú-prestathon, a berthothon.
I am undisturbed, and I dare.
And I look up at Elethis, and that also does a lot.
Dunn notes he’s changed his magical motto thrice, as he and his life changed.
He also notes his deep skepticism regarding astrology, but notes that—when he can make sense of horary charts—the astrology of the hours is “accurate”—(I assume he means planetary hours?), and that natal charts are always interesting and point to things that seem pertinent. He notes his Mercurial personality (re: his hermetic and magical leanings), and he asks how many others have similar influences (I do, with my chart pointing to intellectual, exploratory, arcane pursuits in the arts and letters. Now, how and why this works is—well, distinctly obscure, but I suspect it’s akin to the tarot—or that the astrological associations and patterns gel well enough when you have long-term experientiality to connect to. (i.e., a life and personality) It’s not the planetary positions so much as a pattern in the Macro reflecting itself in chaos theory-like iterations—fractal iterations—in the microcosmic life of persons. It does suggest that the pattern of the natal day means a lot, but—why—unless birth matters much more in terms of establishing a pattern for experientiality. The day to day readings don’t mean a fig, but that still suggests the moment of birth ties us to the larger pattern of the realm—well, it means that astrological patterns do have influences, that there are confluences or Otherworldly flows depending on the planets positions in the skies—(look to the skies, where the waxing moon hangs at its zenith).
We know that patterns mean something and positioning and spaces have impact and potential power. Earth is in a system with the others—and all the worlds, and these forces matter most in the long run. The cycle matters to the matter of history, but the birth pattern seed matters to us. Or we enter this realm at our most opportune times, or when our being and sympathies can connect and enter this realm.
(Of course, lots of influences are involved—lots of cultures and Dasein-ing going on—but natal astrology is ultimately a way of looking at your prevailing tendencies, egos, and so forth for the Path and general soul progress.)
I’ve been projecting and “showing” [pentacle] when I do pentacle work rather than throwing or forcing it before me. Trying not to grunt images into the environment. Now, there’s also deG’s view of believing one’s spell words are literally true as a part of the magical process. I’m not sure of what spelling I do other than my rejection and embrace, and I also adopt the CM avoidance of to be verbs and overtly performative language, but this praxis does slide into a very pragmatic form of discourse and—programy form of magic. Coding and process, subject-verb-object. The reality is that it’s all troping and all performative language.